Navigating Difficult Questions with Your Teenager About Faith

As parents, we have the privilege and responsibility of pointing our children towards a life of faith. In order to do this well, it is important that we need to be prepared to navigate difficult questions about our faith when they arise. Of course it isn’t always easy to know what to say. Our team at TRS wanted to partner with you in these moments. So check out the following steps that can help us to engage with our kids and address their concerns in a thoughtful and meaningful way.

• Listen and affirm: The Bible teaches us the importance of listening and showing empathy towards others. James 1:19 says, "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry."This verse can provide wisdom in every circumstance. When your kid asks a difficult question about faith, take a deep breath and listen carefully to what they are saying. Affirm their curiosity and encourage them to keep asking questions. Some questions may shock you and catch you off guard. Prepare yourself for these moments. Be thankful they are sharing it with you.

• Be honest: Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." We read that it's okay to admit that we don't have all the answers, and we can trust God to guide us in our search for knowledge and understanding. If you don't know the answer to a question, it's okay to say so. Admitting that you don't have all the answers can be a powerful way to model humility and encourage your child to keep seeking answers.

• Explore together: If you don't know the answer to a question, commit to exploring it together with your child. This could mean reading a book, watching a video, or talking to a trusted mentor or pastor. If you need resources, ask us! We’d love to help you learn together. Sometimes the greatest element of learning the answer is the pursuit! Proverbs 2:3-5 says, "indeed, if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God." Seeking knowledge and understanding in our faith journey will encourage us to explore difficult questions together with their children.

• Don't be afraid of doubt: Mark 9:24 says, "Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, 'I believe; help my unbelief!'" We can ask God to help us overcome our doubts and strengthen our faith. Doubt is a natural part of faith, and it's okay to express it. However, you can encourage your child to share their doubts and fears with you and work together to find a way forward. If a child never experiences moments of doubt, that is often more concerning than if they do. Keep an open and continuing conversation of faith.

• Be present: When your child asks a difficult question, it's easy to get caught up in your own thoughts and concerns. But it's essential to be fully present with your child in the moment. Put aside distractions and show them that they have your undivided attention. Put plainly. Put up the phone. Close the laptop. Turn off the computer. Take off the smartwatch. The moment you show them something else can turn your attention from them… they will shut down. Be present.

Whether you know it or not, parents are the primary influencers in the lives of kids even through the middle and high school years. By listening, affirming, and exploring together, we can help our children to navigate difficult questions about faith and deepen their understanding of God's love and grace. So, let's be humble, compassionate, and committed to our children's spiritual growth, even when it means venturing into uncertain territory.

TRY THIS: One practical step that you can take today is to set aside some intentional time to listen to your child's questions and concerns about faith. Maybe it's over dinner, during a walk, or before bed. Whatever it looks like, make it a priority to create a safe and open space for your child to share their thoughts and feelings. By doing so, you can help them to develop a strong and resilient faith that will carry them through life's ups and downs.

The team here at TRS is praying for you! We hope these practical steps are helpful for you as you navigate difficult questions about faith with your children. Remember, you don't have to have all the answers - but you can be a faithful and loving presence in your child's life as they explore the mysteries of faith.

Let us know your thoughts! What are some ways you have helped your student navigate some of their questions? How have you been helped in your journey of faith?